Shame
I used to be considered the good-grade getting, goal-achieving, opportunity-seeking, law-abiding, God-fearing child destined to go far. Not to boast, which is to say that I will, I acquired quite a list of accomplishments in my 21-years despite much adversity. Apparently none of these things matter once you tell your family and friends that you are gay.
With a grimace, lack of eye-contact, maybe folded arms, and most certainly with a preceding statement of disagreement, my family and friends told me that they still loved me. AOL keyword: still. Because homosexuality fundamentally changes who I am in their gilded perspective of me. Whether Biblically or traditionally inspired, their loving condemnation revealed something.
I honestly don’t give a damn if anyone disagrees with me. Speak your mind, but not on my time. I have too many inspiring projects and too much good yet to share with the world, but not enough time to waste emotional energy.
Fortunately, people grow. I am particularly appreciative of my father for embracing Arthur as the loving counterpart that he is. Coming out has been like taking off a band-aid adhered to the hair of my family and friends. It doesn’t hurt me, but it will pain them the longer they take to see me restored to a person no longer living with fear.
(Written July 23, 2005.)
This entry was posted on Saturday, July 30th, 2005 at 12:12 and is tagged life. 