Why Boston Sucks

After a few days outside of Boston, I am reminded of why I miss not living here.

  1. It’s REALLY cold here and Bostonians have a God-given right to b*tch about it.
  2. Expensive taxis. A ride starts at $8 before your bum even moves an inch away from the airport.
  3. Big Dig Access. The most expensive public works project in US history closes at night, so you are stuck with old roads. Only Boston engineers would build a 10 lane bridge that merges to 2 lanes underground and ends in a traffic circle. Besides being billions of dollars over-budget, scaled back, and late, all Americans are paying for this project courtesy of federal funds. Why do all dollar bills blow east? Because Boston sucks.
  4. Bostonians aren’t necessarily rude, they just think that their opinion is always important enough to share with you… especially on baseball and curses, football and dynasties, politics and being insanely liberal.
  5. Boston built the nation’s first subway and its lack of maintance and management are there to remind you of this fact every time you are 15-minutes late to class because a track switch froze. It’s damn cold here (see #1) so you think that engineers would have compensated for this fact.
  6. The MBTA will get you places cheaply, but Fairy Godmother (er, Mayor) Menino turns the T back into a pumpkin after midnight. This leaves thousands of college students in most areas with no choice but expensive taxis. Even the limited Night Owl bus service has been cancelled.
  7. Hate crimes. Within the reaches of the MBTA, there are over 100,000 college students. Locals assume all of us are reckless, landlords aren’t welcoming, and police love to murder us.
  8. They don’t call it Taxachusetts for no reason.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 10th, 2005 at 23:56 and is tagged .

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