Is it really?
Posted on Friday, January 7th, 2005 at 4:46.
It just kinda snuck up on me. I decided to watch Tuck Everlasting before going to bed because it arrived from Netflix. Just as the movie ended, I received an e-mail from Cary. Cary is one of three friends over in Cambodia right now working on a documentary. I am updating their online travel log. Cary is a horrible speller, so I always try to proofread what she sends me before I post it online. That’s when it hit me. Today is January 7. It even took me a split second to realize why this day was unique. Eight years ago, my life changed.
Eight years ago, I was still sleeping at this time in the morning. I later would go to school wondering how my mom was doing at the hospital. I would talk with my bus driver Mrs. Holloway on my way to school about whatever because she was cool like that. I would go through all the usual seventh grade grind, still groggy being at school so soon after Christmas break. And then I would return home, step off the bus with my sister, stop, and not even wonder why there were so many cars in the driveway because I already knew why. My sister and I would step inside, see much of my family gathered, and my pastor. My dad held my two younger brothers on his lap as my sister and I sat on the floor in front of the fireplace. I whispered, “It’s mom,” to Rachel and she closed her eyes as she put her chin down to her knee.
The world lost one of the most generous and loving people in history eight years ago today, but I lost my mother. Eight years seems like forever ago. It doesn’t even seem like time flew by.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned about people, many will do anything, anything not to die. And they’ll do anything to keep from living their life. Do not fear death, but rather the unlived life. You don’t have to live forever. You just have to live.” –Tuck Everlasting
Well spoken, Jeremiah. You’ve never failed to impress when it comes to this topic, which I understand far more than I’d care to as of late. It’s clear that you treasure your memories–something I can’t be reminded to do nearly often enough these days. Thanks for that!
*hug* I know.
I’ve been reading your blog for some time now but have never responded. Your post brought some sad feelings to mind, having lost my mom only a little over a year ago in a freak car accident. It’s still hard for me but I try to think about the good times and take comfort in knowing others know what I’m going through.
I am so proud of the man you have become. Reading your blog brought that day back to me as if it was yesterdday all over again. I know I am a hard person to talk to about the important life things but I can tell you I am triing to change. I love you.
I am so sorry, Jeremiah. There are too many things about this life I will never understand.
Please Please Please don’t be sorry!
I was not even slightly sad when I wrote this and I am not sad about losing my mother. It’s not apathy, it’s acceptance of something that I cannot change. Certainly, if I had the choice, I would choose to have my mom alive today, but I really am not regretful that she’s not.
My mom did not fear death. She specifically told me before she left for her final hospital stay to not be sad if she died. I miss her, but I have no sorrow. Resilience is a beautiful thing.
I just discovered your blog through a Paris Photo Journal. Your post is very touching and I just want to thank you for sharing it with us.
Wow, you really know how to make an uncle breakdown…..sorry, lost it for a moment..uh, few minutes. Your mom would be, excuse me, IS so proud of you J.
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