Stalkers
Posted on Monday, September 29th, 2003 at 23:30.
Attn: To Whom It May Concern
Re: Ineligible Candidates
It has come to my attention that I appeal to everyone’s eyes. Fair enough. However, two particular types of people should avoid hitting on me.
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Fisher College Girls
Living on the west side of Emerson’s Campus on the Common, walking six miles a day is not uncommon. I pass Fisher College along the journey on every trip. One day, I was walking along and two Fisher College girls were walking behind me. One of them tripped randomly and the other girl made fun of her for tripping over nothing. She teased her of “gazing at the cute guy” in front of them (i.e. me). Over hearing their conversation, I turned around, grinned, and kept walking. One of the girls, Gabby, ran up to me and started conversing. It was mostly safe talk. We hit the intersection and went our separate ways. Jump a few nights later. I am walking back to my dorm and Gabby is sitting on the Fisher College stoop smoking. She calls me up, tells me her sob story of being continually shot down by Emerson guys, asks for my phone number, and pressures me into spending time with her. I said I didn’t have a local phone number, which is true. I just conveniently did not mention that I have a cell phone with a Virginia area code. With a light case of emphysema, I retreated to my dorm hoping to never encounter Gabby again. Jump forward to Sunday. I run into her walking across Boston Common. She hollers, of course, and insists on giving me her phone number so that I can take her on a date on Friday. HELLO?! Take the hint! I’m not interested!
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~40 Year Old Pedophiles (even though I am almost 20…)
I am walking through Boston Common to my History of Media Arts 1 class and a man approaches me. He tells me that he has seen me walking with Sean and that he is a good friend of Sean. I thought it quite funny that a man of his age would be a good friend of Sean, but Mark Lamb is practically another uncle to me and he is in his 40s. So I talk to him through the Common, nothing more than safe talk. As we split off, he said that he should take me out for dinner sometime. I shot him a look and quickly walked off. Fast forward to tonight. We passed as I walked to obtain coffee. He commented that I look nice (I was dressed for my Emerson Independent Video interview) and insisted that we "hang out" sometime. Yikes! No. Go away.
Upon return from my interview, I asked Sean about this man. His eyes grew and was like, “Stay away from him. He always approaches Emerson guys and I finally had coffee with him once just to get him to stop bugging me. He thinks we’re best friends or something.”
Stop your cheer sex. I am not your object of lust.
Warmest regards,
Happily Single
