Archive for March, 2003
Saving the Private Ryan
Saturday, March 29th, 2003The decision to move to San Diego was difficult, to say the least. Apparently, my departure hurt Ryan more than I realized. I started mentally preparing for our separation the semester before my graduation. We were still planning to be best buds after I left for college, though I realized that the physical distance between us would not allow the intensity of our friendship to be maintained. And even though I traded Lynchburg for real life in San Diego instead of college in Boston, I thought he was ready. He wasn’t.
Ryan does not blame me, nor do I blame myself. But my leaving Lynchburg certainly aided to the self-finding struggle he still fights today. Ryan and I share the trait of ourselves being our biggest critic. This great man versus himself battle requires so much self-evaluation and realizing that Jesus Christ makes us perfect in God’s eyes, not our futile attempts at perfection. I sense the first of many victories in his own private war.
You always win when you fight yourself.
Link
Thursday, March 27th, 2003Pinch Me
Wednesday, March 26th, 2003Dr. John D. Anderson, Director of Emerson College’s Honor Program (03/21/2003):
Dear Jeremiah,
Congratulations! On behalf of Emerson College, I am delighted to inform you that you have been accepted to the Emerson College Honors Program. As a participant in the Program, you will be awarded a half-tuition Trustees Scholarship. This scholarship will be renewed annually up to a maximum of eight semesters as long as you remain in the Program and are enrolled full-time.
As if I needed one more example of God out-pacing my plans, a blessing that needed more time for fulfillment that I allotted came to pass. Not only are my college financial issues addressed this year, but for the next four years. Who was I to question God’s promises in Jeremiah 29:11?
I spoke last night at The Highway. Sometimes God allows things to happen in life that I do not understand, points in life where I only know three things: God is good, my life is bad, and God is silent. Losing my mother to cancer and having to defer from college immediately come to mind. Both situations required that I question God, accept the reality of my pain, accept the reality of God’s promises, and press forward in life holding onto what is less than easy to accept or explain.
The letter from Emerson College could not have arrived on a better day. Not only did it substantiate my message to the listening students, it affirmed that God is still in control of my life to the doubting Thomas of my thoughts.
Staring in the mirror before going to sleep, I had that, “Whoa, that’s really me,” realization that occurs every so often. How blessed I am! To think that the guy in the mirror is who I really am today, no more, no less, naked of the past and the future. You can see the hope he has through his smile and the joy that comforts him in his eyes.
Blinded by Pride
Tuesday, March 25th, 2003Am I the only Mac user who openly admits that x86 processors deliver greater performance for significantly fewer dollars? Adobe’s claim that “the PC consistently outperformed the Macintosh machine, at an impressive rate,” is not libel. Adobe’s applications function exactly the same on both platforms and deliver faster results when run on the latest x86 hardware compared to the latest Apple hardware. Instead of responding with a silly press release ignoring the truth, Apple should resolve its processor performance issues.
I certainly did not switch to the Mac for the performance gains. Regardless, the performance issues are not noticeable until I try to render in Carrara. I still believe that Apple hardware and Mac OS X are a superior combination for running Adobe applications because my PowerMac G4 just works. I cannot even recall the last technical glitch or quirk I encountered. Not true for the Windows world.
Quote
Thursday, March 20th, 2003Soldier from a sermon by John Hagee
It’s the soldier not the reporter who gives you the freedom of the press.
It’s the soldier not the poet who gives you the freedom of speech.
It’s the soldier not the campus organizer who allows you to demonstrate.
It’s the soldier who salutes the flag, serves the flag, whose coffin is draped with the flag that allows the protester to burn the flag.
Six Weeks Retrospect
Sunday, March 16th, 2003Part 1
Even though I disagree with the corporate politics, the shallow sermons, and the whole concept of a denominational church, Rancho Bernardo Community Presbyterian Church has something wonderful outside of its sanctuary. The Highway high school ministry and college small group consistently provide the highlights of my week. Ken McCoy never fails to leave me pondering Big Universe, Small Me™ thoughts every time we meet. And while it is true that I will make friends wherever I go, the dynamic of both groups is unique and has become so special to me. From playing frisbee in Old Poway Park to late night coffee and natural food adventures, Jesus shines through these people. How wonderful it is to be shined upon instead of weakly shining alone.
Part 2
February was a horrible, no good, very bad month for employment. I truly wanted to quit my job at Postal Annex+. When I make a mistake, I admit it. I will be upset if you blame me for inconsistent pricing that is automatically calculated by the computer’s software or if you interrupt me while helping a customer, create a problem in the process, and then blame me. Fortunately, I learned to leave my frustration from work at work. The mile walk home blasting emo music from my Apple iPod and gazing at the stars certainly helps me focus on the rest of my life. When I am able to pay for college this August using the funds from my strife, the effort will not feel worthless.
If I starred in an ABC sitcom, it would be entitled Two Philippinoes, A White Guy & A Postal Annex+. But the daughter Philippino manager and the mother Philippino owner (a. k. a. "The Grand Tita") hired a third Philippino this week so that I would not be the only slave laborer. Actually, the Postal Annex+ franchise where I work is being sold to a British Hindu couple and my manager is building the staff for her and her mother’s impending departure. Stay tuned for the unfolding drama and hilarity.
Part 3
I believe in a God who answers prayers, who does miracles, who is intimately involved in the lives of those who invite Him. Humanity was created for the sole purpose of choosing to serve God. God actively seeks praise from His creation and will lead those who seek His plan for their lives on paths that ultimately result in them praising God for His goodness. He ignores no one and denies no one the opportunity to bring His glorification. Do you understand that faith in Jesus Christ is so much more than acknowledging your imperfections, your sin? Life with Christ means recklessly abandoning a safe path in life for potentially radical sacrifices that assuredly elicit good in the world and reap eternal reward. I cannot just wait and deal with life as it happens. I do have goals. I do have plans. And I will fight. I will strive. I will once again believe that God will do great things with the scared twelve-year-old boy’s faith that there must be more to life than living for myself.
The two enemies of mankind are itself and time. I feel as if I fight both to my death each day. I do not always look at people the way God would have me and I feel that time is moving forward without equal progress on my behalf. Realizing how important other people’s praise of me and my workmanship brought this truth to the forefront of my self-evaluation. I refuse to reminisce on the current season of my life as the pinnacle of my success, but rather as an important stepping stone towards another yet-to-be-known personal best. Whatever lies ahead, I must keep God’s purpose above my desires. Glorification by mankind is slain by time and I do not want to be the ultimate casualty of both.
Not Flattered by Imitation
Wednesday, March 12th, 2003So I am cruising a particular creative Mac-user oriented web site and I see this advertisement for Apple’s Go to Mac OS X seminar.
Notice that Mr. Chuck Weger said, “It doesn’t quit, and it doesn’t crash, it just works,” in explaining why he switched to Apple’s Mac OS X. His quote sounds vaguely familiar to, "It doesn’t crash, it doesn’t freeze. Everything just works," spoken by yours truly in my nationally aired Apple Switch commercial released in September 2002. So instead of being creative in advertising why creative firms should move to Mac OS X, Mr. Chuck Weger "borrowed" my words uncreatively. Actually, he stole my concept and applied inferior language. (Applications do quit when you intentionally quit the application or use the keyboard shortcut of Command+Q within the application. Mr. Chuck Weger probably polluted my concept accidentally in his attempt to share the glory of my wondrous words.) I forgive him for ruining my concept. I just want to know when I will receive my first royalty check from his unauthorized use of my genius.
Sandee Cohen, also participating in this particular Apple Seminar, is a sweetie. Too bad Mr. Chuck Weger is more acerbic than an Altoid Sour.
Online 3D Content Delivery Formats
Tuesday, March 4th, 2003Incorporating 3D elements into my next online journal design has been my most important design goal. After hours of modeling and shading in Eovia Carrara, I may abandon my current design concept. The problem is that a file format for delivering 3D content in a small file with high image quality does not exist (to my knowledge). If I export using VectorStyle into Flash, the 3D design element is too large and the image fidelity is horrible. I need a small level of interactivity, so exporting to a raster video or image sequence format is not an option. AXELedge is promising, but would require me to buy more software. Macromedia Shockwave 3D is attractive but requires the most expensive Macromedia Director and there is no Mac OS X browser plug-in for non-Active X browsers.
My hope is that the final release of Anark Studio 2 arrives soon. The beta versions that I am testing offer everything that I demand. People who will visit my site will need to download a browser plug-in to see the content, but I predict that this software will do for 3D what Flash did for 2D online.
One Phat Tuesday
Tuesday, March 4th, 2003Caleb is pure greatness. Not only did he pick me up for The Highway, temporarily fix Denise’s car, take me home when Denise’s car could only crawl to her house, he also recommended Keith’s Restaurant for cheap midnight coffee and apple pie. Few things are better than caffeine, sugar, and partially hydrogenated oils served by a Russian waitress who snarls at you.
A most “interesting” thing happened to me tonight. During The Highway’s crowd-breaker game, Elaine ripped my shirt off. I know that I am a somewhat attractive guy, but tearing my shirt is an extreme method of getting to see me shirtless. This certainly has never happened before — not even by the Mac zealots at Macworld San Fran 2003. Elaine incessantly apologized and offered to buy me a new shirt. I maintain that she just wanted an excuse to spend time with me shopping judging from her quip of, “Well now you really do look like white trash.” All things work together for good. I need new shoes and I will be able to buy them when Elaine and I venture to the mall.
