People Watching
Posted on Monday, February 24th, 2003 at 21:00.
A month of studying Postal Annex+ customers has allowed me to distinguish five unique types of customers.
- The Account Holder
The most annoying people are the most persistent in annoying me. The Account Holder is the most frequent and impatient of all customers. Boldly proclaiming, "I have an account here," is The Account Holder’s favorite phrase, as if it meant that I am suddenly allowed to skip processes to save them time just because they are billed collectively at the end of the month. - The Curmudgeon
Reminiscing of "the good ol’ days" when "Self-Serve Copy Machines" meant that a Postal Annex+ employee made your copies for you, The Curmudgeon scoffs at the outrageous price of nine cents per copied page. The Curmudgeon is never satisfied, offended at a lack of respect towards his pissy attitude, and feels compelled to call me "son." - The Ditz
Because stupidity knows no gender, The Ditz can be male or female. The Ditz will walk into the store, look around with a confused expression, approach a copy machine, and proceed at an attempt to make copies. When the copy machine fails to perform the expected task, The Ditz frantically searches for his/her error and becomes irritated while completely disregarding the florescent colored paper with "Please ask for a copy key before making copies." in large type. I rescue The Ditz before anyone in his/her immediate surrounding is injured by The Ditz’s impending physical abuse of the copy machine. - The Foreigner
Whether Asian or Mexican, legal or (most likely) illegal: learn the damn language — and do not act like your culture was violated because I speak the English language in your presence. - The Mid-Day Suburbanite
Imagine a middle-aged female, carrying a genetically inbred, miniscule dog, driving an unnecessarily large Lincoln-brand sport utility vehicle, drinking a grande latte from Starbucks, and abusing the privilege of cell-phone technology. The Mid-Day Suburbanite should be exterminated and is the only flaw of a capitalistic economy.
